My Dear Son: KALEN
I am so happy you're home :) Let's make this our BEST YEAR! I love you.. xoxo Mom
(I wrote that on a sticky note and put it in his room next to some homecoming gifts when he got back from AK)
I am not sure if thats what started it off good but BOY have things changed with my SON.. we laugh and joke now, he is a JOY to have around and is making ALL kinds of great choices. What a relief!
Today I was a little late for Kalen's soccer game because I ran Rylee home to get a snack. When I showed up Kalen was on FIYAH! He was rockin that field, it was amazing and I got so pumped and proud of my son. One thing that I find so interesting that I didn't take seriously in the past couple years is how much he wants my approval and attention. After he would kick the ball and get a little break from the spotlight he would look over at me to see if I was watching him and cheering for him (of course he could hear me too). He has been a lot more affectionate since he got back from Alaska and wants to hug me and be near me.. or maybe I'm just more aware and available?
This summer while the kids were gone I got out all my parenting books, and boy do I have a LOT of them. I was so frustrated when they left and felt so alone and like things were never going to change or get better. I knew I was doing something wrong but I couldn't figure it out. Luckily I found some answers and affirmations in the books I was reading! I am trying so desperately to make up for times that I withheld my attention and affection when he wasn't making good choices and let him know that NO MATTER WHAT, he is LOVED 100% by me.. even if he is rude to an adult (my biggest dislike). Luckily since he has been home I haven't even needed to discipline or worry about his choices. One thing that I have to share so I will always remember is this. One day after I picked him up from school he said, "Mom, ever since I stopped hanging out with "B" I have a lot more friends"! ("B" was his partner in crime the last few months of 5th grade, the two of them kept getting in trouble together. A few of the people at Kalens school told me I should not let him be friends with this other boy. I just ignored them because I have decided a long time ago that I will not tell my children who they can or can't be friends with. I also am very against telling your kids what they should be like or put unrealistic expectations on them. I believe that we are who we are when we're born and trying to change someone or not accept them for who they want to be is WRONG. So I always just tried to involve "B" in our family and let him tag along with us wherever we went and love that boy because I knew his home life wasn't an ideal situation.. not that my broken family is any better but I do love my kids and always put them first. I am just so thankful that my son thinks for himself and he came up with a solution to his problem ALL BY HIMSELF.. now that makes me BEAM with pride!
Ready for another Kalen KUDOS?
Kalen asked if he could sign up to play the Viola for the Orchestra at school. I am excited to see him learn a new talent. He said, "Mom, all the kids in the Orchestra are kind of like dorky, but I don't care".
Ok one more and then I will stop.. Kalen has been wanting a butterfly knife. I told him that when I was in sixth grade I started paying for my own things and earning money by doing chores and babysitting for people. So he knew that if he wanted this knife, he was going to have to earn it. We were at the Fashion Place mall Saturday to return some shoes for my Dad and he asked if we could go into an asian store to look at them. He checked out the prices which ranged from $15-$35. The next day he started cleaning different things in the house. I have never in my life seen him do job after job and ask to do more! Ok just a sec. I have to look at the list, he wrote it down in a notebook..
Living Room $1
Basement/Playroom $1
2 Bathrooms $2
Watering Flowers $.50
My Room $2
Sweep and Mop Kitchen $2
Cutting Celery for Mom $1
Killing a fly for Mema .25
Take out garbage for Mema .25
I'm was smiling SOOOO big watching the kid work his little butt off!
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