THANKFUL 2010

1. The opportunity I was given to be a mother:
It's a humbling experience, I always thought I'd be perfect and do it all the right way, but by golly.. IT'S HARD WORK! I am doing my best (some of the time) and the other times I say I'm sorry and teach lessons of asking for forgiveness by example. Another thing that I teach my children by example is this: We are a family and we will never fail or give up on each other, no matter what, its US against the WORLD (you'll never reach the end of the road while you're traveling w/me).

2. Music:
I use my ipod touch every single day. Music moves and motivates me, I couldn't have become this fabulously-fit without my ipod as a constant/faithful companion. My newest CD I just purchased today (an early Christmas gift to myself) is Susan Boyle, The Gift. I heard her on Oprah the one and only day I've turned on the TV for about a year and I made a note to myself to make sure and buy it to feel something during this Christmas season and help me get in the mood.. it's doing its job!

3. Employment @ Lowe's Home Improvement:
Nicole Wilson - Kitchen Project Specialist, I never knew a job could bring so much entertainment. These last couple days I go up to cashier just to give customers a hard time and to try to put a smile on their face. I receive a great deal of excitement when I make others happy and make them laugh or when they just smile ant me and give me a look like they think I'm crazy :) I'm very thankful for having the opportunity to interact with inspiring people and open my mind to what's out there in this BIG world. My co-workers are like family to me.. I just love them!

4. My Perfect Health
My clear mind that is optimistic and open to new thing, strong muscles that never fail me, clear eyesight to guide me down the right path, never-ending endurance to run like the wind, creativity that never sleeps, and the passion/drive to be the best I can be so I will attract a suitable companion to share my blissful life with.

5.

Magical Time of Year!

I love Christmas music!

Click below to sample my fav. Christmas song..
This is my favorite Christmas song

I am busting it out and putting up the tree in: THE COUNTDOWN

3. Tuesday

2. Wednesday

1. Thursday (Thanksgiving)

Days .. "On this night, on this very Christmas night!"

Winner.. the best Facebook Wall Post in history!

The following conversation takes place on my brother Zack's facebook wall (he is the little guy in the photo wearing a Davy Crocker hat):

additional info. you might want to know.. Zack is the 4th child and Christian is the 5th child, they used to almost kill ea. other when sibling rivalry would take place.. Chris was out of town for a week visiting his buddies in Seattle and returned with the remote missing in the upstairs family room/play room.




Christian Wilson- Hey, I heard you came over to mom and dads over the weekend,..so what the hell did you guys do with the upstairs remote??!!!
Thursday at 8:03pm

Candy Echols Salih- Check ur Dad's pocket on his robe, lol
Thursday at 9:14pm

Dustin Harris- Ha I remember you guys gluing a string to your remotes back in the day. When will there be remote alarms, just a button so that the remote goes off like a fire alarm.
Thursday at 11:14pm

Zack Wilson- look behind the couch. Or on the dresser next to it.
Yesterday at 4:00pm

Christian Wilson- Dude, I obviously tore the whole room apart before asking you where it is . I'm super pissed, your a douche bag!!! Looking behind or around the couch was the first place I looked! I think you should check your butt hole!
Yesterday at 4:50pm

Zack Wilson- Mire! Im a little last born buttmunch! I hate cold butter on bread! Mrrr!
23 hours ago

Christian Wilson- It tears the bread! ...God I want to kill you.
23 hours ago

Just A Dream

Click Here to watch the video "Just A Dream"

Woke up this morning..

.. choking on my saliva from it going down the wrong tube, and to my dismay my dream was just getting really. really. GOOD! Anyways, all that coughing woke up this little cutie who stayed the night with his Auntie, he is all smiles and sunshine in the mornings, I love my little Kyan boy!

We went down to the kitchen and he helped me with the dishes.

A day in the life ..

.. of my family!
Kalen was almost done beating the Spiderman Wii game and I went in there to bug him, looked at the screen and saw a big scary monster so I took him serious that he needed to focus and left him alone.. I know, I'm really thoughtful and nice.
(I climbed on top of the fridge to take this awesome photo) The drapery aren't finished but I hung them up just because I can't stand to not have something there while I'm working on the finished product.

after winning the game Kalen diligently practiced his viola:

and Rylee went to her room to work on her homework:

I finished my kitchen valance and hung it up .. so proud of myself :)

This blender is my favorite kitchen appliance!

My Special Aunt

My view out my backyard to the west tonight, 11/17 at 5:30pm

Tonight is going to be really sad and kinda hard for me. I am going to the hospital to visit my favorite Aunt Cheryl. She is my Moms oldest sister, the oldest child of the Knights side of the family. Out of all of my Aunts and Uncles on both sides she is the one I have the spent the most time with and been spoiled so greatly by. She is one of the most generous persons I have ever met in my whole life. She is the one who bought me school clothes growing up and let me stay at her house in 6th grade for a month because her daughter was getting married and I was to be a Jr. bridesmaid in the September wedding. I would babysit her youngest child Scottie Joe while she worked and in return she would take me shopping and outfit me in the latest neon colored shirts, jeans, and accessories! I was the hottest dresser because of my Aunt decking me out. When Scottie Joe was a baby Cheryl lived in Valdez, AK the only other relative I had in that town so I spent a lot of time with her. She would take me to Tastee Freez and Halibut House and treat me to things my Mom didn't like me eating. Aunt Cheryl always had lots of junk food and candy at her house and it was no where to be found in my home growing up. The first year I lived in Utah I didn't have much money for school clothes for Kalen to go to kindergarten and Rylee's preschool so she took us out on the town and outfitted them plus provided each of them with a backpack.
I got the phone call at work today from my Mom that Aunt Cheryl is in the hospital again, and that her liver has failed and she has has several mini strokes. I have never had to experience death of a family member before, when my Grandma & Grandpa Knight died I was young and I never really knew them well since I didn't see them often. I'm nervous and I don't know what to say or how to act, but I am determined to go visit her regardless of how hard its going to be :(

Ashley aka "Tooter/Babysitter"

My parents are always there for me when I need them.. especially when I need someone to watch my children. I hate it though, it's NOT what I want, it's NOT what I planned for my life.. however its what is happening for now. I am so thankful for all they do for us but I know they want to be the Mema & Papa and NOT the parents.

Soooo I hired a fun girl to come and watch them and help them with homework/chores. The first night Ashley showed up, the kids had never met her and I was already at work so I told them before they opened the door they had to ask her what the magic password was: BANANAS
I guess she remembered it because they let her in. When I got home that night she told me about the grasshopper that Rylee named Bob and how it jumped all over with one leg and then all of a sudden it went missing.. I found it a few days later in the corner of the dining room hiding under a sewing project (deceased). Kalen called Ashley "babysitter" in a silly tone all night and demanded her to get him water and various other items in the kitchen (jokingly of course). Rylee claimed, "You guys are making a big mess" while they were playing the game Apples To Apples, and then threw her cards up in the air to add to the mess. Ashley and the kids had a good time together so I asked her if she would be willing to come more often and let me pay her for helping me! I'm not one of those kinda girls who hate to admit their weaknesses, in face hell I will tell it to your face what I can and cannot do for you.. well one of my parenting weaknesses is helping with homework.. it stresses me the hell out quite honestly. So that is Ashley's #1 job :) Oh why didn't I do this a long time ago? So Rylee said lets call her "tooter" instead of tutor, and Kalen was insistent on calling her "babysitter".

Thank HEAVENS for our ASHLEY!

Classic Skating Family Night

If you have an elementary age kid, you know how cool it is for them to go to Classic Skating! They do this thing called "snowball" and there is a guys choice and a girls choice where the kids pick who they want to skate around with and they HOLD HANDS! lol
Yep, I'm one of those Mom's who take their camera everywhere and catch all the memories, maybe they'll thank me one day or hate me. Either way I am going to keep doing it!

Rylee with a choice skating partner:


Kalen skating backwards:

Pump You UP!

I MADE IT TO MY FIRST GOAL! I am now a size 4/6 - 3/5 - 26/27 depending on the brand of jeans/pants!!! I am so freaking pumped that I did it and now I just don't want to stop. My next goal is to reach 125lbs. and I am only 5lbs. away but I can't imagine stopping there so today during pump class I was inspired to do a weight lifting competition. I know it takes about 12 weeks of intense training and dedication. I am thinking, May..June..July would be perfect. Then I can vacation in August and take a break from it before the kids get back from Alaska. So right now I will continue working on getting rid of body fat and doing as much cardio as I can.

the Butterfly Knife

My Dear Son: KALEN
I am so happy you're home :) Let's make this our BEST YEAR! I love you.. xoxo Mom
(I wrote that on a sticky note and put it in his room next to some homecoming gifts when he got back from AK)

I am not sure if thats what started it off good but BOY have things changed with my SON.. we laugh and joke now, he is a JOY to have around and is making ALL kinds of great choices. What a relief!

Today I was a little late for Kalen's soccer game because I ran Rylee home to get a snack. When I showed up Kalen was on FIYAH! He was rockin that field, it was amazing and I got so pumped and proud of my son. One thing that I find so interesting that I didn't take seriously in the past couple years is how much he wants my approval and attention. After he would kick the ball and get a little break from the spotlight he would look over at me to see if I was watching him and cheering for him (of course he could hear me too). He has been a lot more affectionate since he got back from Alaska and wants to hug me and be near me.. or maybe I'm just more aware and available?

This summer while the kids were gone I got out all my parenting books, and boy do I have a LOT of them. I was so frustrated when they left and felt so alone and like things were never going to change or get better. I knew I was doing something wrong but I couldn't figure it out. Luckily I found some answers and affirmations in the books I was reading! I am trying so desperately to make up for times that I withheld my attention and affection when he wasn't making good choices and let him know that NO MATTER WHAT, he is LOVED 100% by me.. even if he is rude to an adult (my biggest dislike). Luckily since he has been home I haven't even needed to discipline or worry about his choices. One thing that I have to share so I will always remember is this. One day after I picked him up from school he said, "Mom, ever since I stopped hanging out with "B" I have a lot more friends"! ("B" was his partner in crime the last few months of 5th grade, the two of them kept getting in trouble together. A few of the people at Kalens school told me I should not let him be friends with this other boy. I just ignored them because I have decided a long time ago that I will not tell my children who they can or can't be friends with. I also am very against telling your kids what they should be like or put unrealistic expectations on them. I believe that we are who we are when we're born and trying to change someone or not accept them for who they want to be is WRONG. So I always just tried to involve "B" in our family and let him tag along with us wherever we went and love that boy because I knew his home life wasn't an ideal situation.. not that my broken family is any better but I do love my kids and always put them first. I am just so thankful that my son thinks for himself and he came up with a solution to his problem ALL BY HIMSELF.. now that makes me BEAM with pride!

Ready for another Kalen KUDOS?
Kalen asked if he could sign up to play the Viola for the Orchestra at school. I am excited to see him learn a new talent. He said, "Mom, all the kids in the Orchestra are kind of like dorky, but I don't care".

Ok one more and then I will stop.. Kalen has been wanting a butterfly knife. I told him that when I was in sixth grade I started paying for my own things and earning money by doing chores and babysitting for people. So he knew that if he wanted this knife, he was going to have to earn it. We were at the Fashion Place mall Saturday to return some shoes for my Dad and he asked if we could go into an asian store to look at them. He checked out the prices which ranged from $15-$35. The next day he started cleaning different things in the house. I have never in my life seen him do job after job and ask to do more! Ok just a sec. I have to look at the list, he wrote it down in a notebook..
Living Room $1
Basement/Playroom $1
2 Bathrooms $2
Watering Flowers $.50
My Room $2
Sweep and Mop Kitchen $2
Cutting Celery for Mom $1
Killing a fly for Mema .25
Take out garbage for Mema .25

I'm was smiling SOOOO big watching the kid work his little butt off!

It's ALL Good

I have made some MAJOR changes in my life that I started back in April and life just keeps getting better and more exciting with opportunity a knocking!

Each summer I have two and a half months alone to debrief from the stress of single parenthood. I spend some of my time reflecting on things that I want to change about my parenting style. One thing I realized I haven't been doing well at is to: LISTEN & LOVE first and put my own agenda on the back burner when they need me. I tend to get caught up in what I'm doing whether it be cooking, cleaning, working, jogging. They love me and want my attention, time, approval, AND affection.

In May 2011, when I'm ready to pull my hair out I am going to look back to this post and keep on keeping on with being patient and making sure they are my #1 priorty. My biggest fear is that I will look back at this time in my life and have regrets and wish I had done things differently.. NOW is the time to make sure I do things the right way.

Another thing I've added to our awesome life.. is to include them on my journey of being healthy and fabulously fit. I am taking them with me ea. night jogging and instead of suggesting that they run.. I am requiring it! It isn't easy for me to put my foot down and enforce rules. I am a little bit of a passive person who doesn't like to create tension so I tend to back off if I get any opposition from them. NOT anymore.. I am setting some rules and limits and to my surprise they are excited and compliant with it.

You know whats fun as a Mom? Out RUNNING/HIKING your kids!

Rockin those inspirations capri's

A long time ago in a land far far away I ordered some size 6 capris from American Eagle. They have hung on my wall as inspiration and been packed away in a box for the duration of my ownership..

Guess what? I wore them today for the first time .. all day long and got so many effing compliments!

I think this post needs a pic!

You could be big boned..

you could be the model type.. skinny with no appetite.

This morning I was hungry and there wasnt anything I wanted to eat in the house so I threw on a shirt and shorts to run to a drive thru and do some bad eating. Well after I strapped on my seatbelt and started driving away I looked down and saw how sexy and skinny I am becoming :) I decided I would NOT sabotage my hard work and eat something that would make me feel awful. Instead I drove to the nearest grocery store and bought all of my healthy foods.. WITHOUT wearing a bra! LOL I went to Winegars and there were hardly any people in there so it wasn't a big deal really.

I feel amazing and just love this feeling of melting and shrinking.. I can't wait until I'm a size 4/6 thats my goal folks.

Rylee wants an Eclipse birthday so I am going to order her things and mail them to AK. I have been hiking and running a lot, I just love it.

Floating on Cloud 9

Sometimes its the little things in life that bring you joy...

and you sit and wonder how YOU got so lucky to be blessed with something so small and its not really anything someone else would understand, but to you it brings hope and determination to keep trying and looking forward to all that life has to offer.

running quote

"If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run." ~John Bingham

Close Call

Kalen said, "Hey now that our car is stolen, lets go buy a MUSTANG! ha ha very funny son :)

Well that was a close one.. even though I remained calm and collected the whole time. I had my car stolen on May 5th .. in broad daylight ON Cinco De Mayo of all holidays haha. When I get to work each day I leave my key in my locker and don't put any type of lock on the door. A stranger walked up the stairs into the break room and was going through everybody's locker and taking wallets and whatever else he could find.. I'm the lucky one and got my NEW CAR stolen! The next day just as I was going to call my insurance company to report it (so I could get a new car) the police called to tell me they got the guy who stole it and that he was in custody and my car was found safe and sound! The best part is that he only drove it across the street to the Barnes and Noble parking lot, I was so happy I wanted to hug the officer who met me at my car, but I restrained myself :)

I am so thrilled to have my black beauty back in the garage to take me to all the places I want to go!

Ready.. Set... Go!

Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.

I am such a scaredy cat, I always think I might be ready to date and then I try it or think about it too much and change my mind.. one these days?!?!

I know I always talk about how much I love my job, but it just keeps getting better. I love helping customers and trying to talk them out of oak cabinets! I am in SLC training for the next three days, still waiting to learn something new, its fun getting together will all the other Lowe's designers and hearing whats going on at their stores. One thing that really helps is hearing things that they have gone through because the only way we learn is from our mistakes.

Announcing a soon to be NEW WILSON female..

and I've loved her right from the start.

The wedding will take place just around the corner.. in May!

11 Years Old

My baby boy is now an eleven year old kid. We spent the day at Waikiki beach swimming, then we met Auntie Mel, Uncle Jesse, Tayler, Jream, Sarah Maughn, Gordon, and little Tarren at Dave & Busters. The kids had a blast and I enjoyed watching them. The kids are all so cute, it was fun to see them having a good time together. After we played we went and got ice cream at Coldstone. There was a Quiksilver youth store that I picked up a couple Hawaii tshirts for him. He has been asking for macadamia nuts everytime we go to the store and I kept telling him to wait until we got to Hawaii because they are really expensive. I got him three jars of them! lol Then I got him a nice ukelele in the pictures you will see. When we were on our way home for the night, we stopped at Food Pantry to get milk. We both had to use the toilet so we went around asking where it was, come to find out they didn't have a public potty so we went across the street to look for one. While squirling around I ran into Melissa Jones an old friend from high school. It was soooo cool!! She is cute as ever and I can't wait to spend some time with her.

ALOOOHA!

Well folks, we made it to PARADISE! We are staying at the Hawaiian Hilton Village directly on the beach in Waikiki. I wanted to go all out for this vacation since we are celebrating Kalen's 11th birthday and because I prob won't make it back here for a long time. Ryans sister Melonee lives in Kapolei over by Ko'Olina so we went and met up with her and some of their other family. It was nice to see them. Ryan and I didn't have an easy divorce and there was a lot of "he said/she said" so I was a little nervous to be around them, but I am thankful they made me feel welcome. The kids want to spend all their time with them, which is nice because it gives me someone to talk to. I am having a hard time not having any other adults to talk to, I don't think I will take my kids on vacation all by myself anymore. My favorite part so far was swimming at the KoOlina lagoons.



Check out our sweet rental car! It's a cadillac baby .. with leather interior. We pick up the MUSTANG on Feb. 16th and will have it for Kalen's BIRTHDAY to cruise the island in style! I can't wait :)

Bring on the NEW YEAR!

This year has already started out AWESOME! I think its because I have a two week long vacation coming up to....

HAWAII

How did I get so lucky? This is making the winter bearable for a change.. I am a sunshine/summer girl and crave the warm weather and clear blue skies. I have also been accomplishing some very important goals for myself starting last month. I feel the change coming on :)

This year Kalen and Rylee got all the fun things on their list from Santa, and Rylee begged me to tell her if Santa was real. I replied that she will just have to find out for herself one day. I personally think the whole thing is retarded but go along with it because everyone else does. I changed the theme of my tree this year to a black /white theme oh and it was the tree of my dreams! It's very hard for me to take my tree down and put it away each year, it becomes part of my decor! My own present to myself (someone has to spoil me right?) was a new camera. I can't wait to take pictures in Hawaii with it. Now if I could just learn to use it.

Work is going .. well .. going. A couple weeks ago a "rich" or so she thought she was, lady came in and said she needed some changes made to her design because her contractor was meeting her at home to do some work to finish her basement. I kindly helped her for about twenty minutes and then my computer froze up. It takes at least 10/15 minutes to reboot so I asked her if she wanted to shop around while I restart. She quickly stood up and rudely announced she was going to shop at Home Depot. I was in shock because there was really nothing I could do. Then she demanded to speak to the manager. She told my manager that she doesn't like that there were distractions during her design and that she didnt get the attention she was expecting and that she planned on spending $30,000 on her kitchen. Ok yah right lady, she did come in the next morning for a few more changes and was polite but in a hurry. Haven't seen her since, don't know where the $30,000 is being spent? Then on Saturday I met the coolest couple who is remodeling their current kitchen and wanted me to go over to their home for a consultation and design ideas. I am looking forward to working with them!

Our family Christmas parties were a BLAST this year. I have an awesome and FUN family! Here are some photos of the fun.